We’re already in September, which means we’re just about at the final quarter of the year and the inexorable march of time stops for no one. If you chart your year by game releases, it’s been fairly well-paced, and we’re all playing games before the inevitable glut of October releases descends upon us. I mean, have you seen October? It’s ridiculous! But I digress, let’s take this one weekend at a time, starting with this one.

However, a regular weekend rundown isn’t going to do it. So I’m going to assign each weekend a review score based entirely on a scale of Spider-Man sound effects. All of these are real sound effects from the Spider-Man comic that I googled briefly and did not verify at all.

Leo Vader – I’m waiting to stop liking Shadow of the Tomb Raider, which I’ve been assured will happen but hasn’t happened yet! I’ll also inch a little further in Spider-Man for the game club and hopefully finish Yakuza 6 so I can finally move onto Kiwami 2! This is a gamer-ass weekend for gamers. Love ya!!!

Review: While Leo has a pretty good weekend plan, his use of double-exclamation marks either unironically or hyper-ironically brings the score down quiet a bit. Score: Whiff

Suriel Vasquez – Hoping to get to 540 power by web-slinging around the city and beating up baddies on the streets of Kamurocho. 

Review: I am pretty sure the first part is about Destiny and the last part is about Yakuza but I want to believe the middle part is about a combination Destiny/Yakuza game and I’m upset this doesn’t exist. Score: FTAANNG!

Kyle Hilliard – I am enjoying my time with Shadow of the Tomb Raider so far, despite not being engaged by the narrative too much, so I want to keep going on that. I also need to play catch-up with Dragon Ball Super. The Goku Black saga has been super bland, but I hear once you get through it, it gets great. I want to get to that part. I also need to hatch a Kangaskhan in Pokémon Go. Once I do that my Gen 1 collection will be complete and I will finally achieve a sense of calm and happiness. That’s why I am still playing that game, I think.

Review: Kyle has given a lot of detail, is playing a mixture of old and new games, and even includes non-gaming information. However, he loses points because Goku Black was a pretty cool arc and I’m disappointed he doesn’t like it. Score: Thwip

Brian Shea – I’ll be wrapping up my Spider-Man playthrough this weekend. What a terrific adventure so far. After I close that story out, I look forward to starting Shadow of the Tomb Raider and continuing my career in NBA 2K19. Outside of that, I’ll probably play some Overwatch, Destiny 2: Forsaken, and maybe continue stumbling my way through Two Point Hospital.

Review: Shea lists way more games than he could possibly play so I’m going to lower his score for the act of hubris. Score: THWAK!

Jeff M – This weekend I’ll continue playing through Spider-Man, which I’m enjoying in my own ridiculous way. I’m about 65% through the game and am just now feeling competent in combat. There’s still plenty more do, and I’m enjoying pretty much all of it – except for that jerk J. Jonah Jameson’s podcasts, anyway…

Review: Jeff gets points for being succinct and also for focus by only talking about Spider-Man. Everyone else is spreading themselves too thin. However, he ended his comment with an ellipses. Score: Slaaoreh!

Imran Khan – This weekend I’m going to play Spider-Man, which I initially only started up mid-Tomb Raider because Tomb Raider ha a 5GB patch and I wasn’t going to watch it patch, and now I can’t stop. I also hope to dive into Dragon Quest XI soon.

Review: I’m biased. Score: Thwip Thwip

What about you? What plans do you have this weekend?

Source: Game Informer Weekend Warrior – Look Out! Here Comes A Spider-Man!