After years shrouded in almost-total mystery, a recent Death Stranding trailer has pulled back the curtain on this upcoming PS4 exclusive at long last. The footage provides some solid details about the gameplay, characters, and even a release date for the next title from the mind of Metal Gear creator Hideo Kojima. So, everything makes sense now, right? Wrong.
Even though we know more about Death Stranding than before, many of the “answers” we got from the trailer simply led to more questions. We know Sam is the main character, but what drives him? What are all those villains with goofy names (like Cliff, Fragile, and Die-Hardman) doing? What’s up with Bridge Babies? Speculating is part of the fun, but we just want to put the theories to rest and get the real explanation, so we turned to the only authoritative source: our phones’ predictive text.
A bunch of Game Informer editors typed in some seed phrases (underlined below), and then let our phones finish the thoughts in order to reveal what’s really happening in Death Stranding. This is normally where we’d put a spoiler warning, but honestly, the odds of any of these things being correct are astronomically small, so you’re probably safe.
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The United Cities of America has to be the first to make it.
Sam is talking to the president who was the one that was in a big accident with a white horse.
Sam is on a long journey because he wants a good job and he wants to be a good person.
The concept of tethering is the best way to get a hold of the guy who was the guy who was the one who is in charge of the same thing as you can see from the picture.
The theme of connections in this country should not be clear.
Norman Reedus wants you to know that we can make the best friends.
Lindsay Wagner is young now because she was really nice to the girl who was in the office.
The BTs are invisible to my heart.
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Fragile’s secret is that the best dogs are in love.
The villain with the gold mask wants to be able to see what he does.
Die-Hardman isn’t the way I am getting home.
If you die in Death Stranding this is the last time you get to see the snow.
That whale was actually a big deal but it would have been better for the people to hire me.
The motorcycle is not the only way to go to work.
That ladder is in the back and I don’t think I should give it another try.
Umbrellas are important because they can just make it a little more comfortable.
Mama’s role in tomorrow is so much better than any other folks.
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Mads Mikkelsen’s character is a big one for sure.
Cliff is the one who can make you feel like you have more to do.
Black goo is harmful because it’s not too much for you and you don’t want to freak.
If you drink the black goo that’s the way you want to go.
Stealth is important because it is so much better than any other game I’ve ever seen in my life.
Plugging into babies is at the bottom of your heart.
The baby is in the backpack and I will be there at the same time and place.
What’s with the babies? Hey I’m sorry.
Here’s the big twist: To the top of my head in my new head.
Kojima hopes to tell a story about the future of the world and the way we can do that.
This game will be a lot more enjoyable if you don’t want it to pass the level to play and play.
A Switch port is an absolute disaster.
November 8, 2019 is probably the only time we can make the appointment with a different doctor.
For less dubious reporting on Death Stranding, check out this analysis of the E3 2018 trailer, and read about why the game needed to finally show something substantial.
Source: Game Informer Death Stranding Explained By Predictive Text